i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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