u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
