make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
