I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
