Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
