im drinking this country out of the recession.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
