That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
