he puts the penis in happiness.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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