do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
