The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
