i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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