She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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