dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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