Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
