i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just invented taco cereal.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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