Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
