I just saw a hot homeless man
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
