Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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