hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
