Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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