i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
