the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
