very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
