we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
