I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
