Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
