Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
only you would photoshop your dick
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
