i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
