Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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