this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The adults are the big ones right?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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