Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
