nut hugger
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
