I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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