that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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