I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
