Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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