member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
