You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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