Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
