I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
