Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
