Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
