Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
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New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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