don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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