Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We're facebook friends in real life
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
