I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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