My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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