school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
