I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
