It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
