we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
