We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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