didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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