He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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