why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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