Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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