Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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