Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
