The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
