You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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