Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
