it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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