she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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